Dichotomy

"...a stunningly beautiful and thoroughly engaged woman who, in the words of a friend, 'managed to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you could be proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in.'"

I saw this quote in the description of a book on Amazon.

The waters between living a life I can be proud of and delighting in the things there are to take pleasure in certainly are tricky, at least to me.

This is something that I've struggled a lot with for a long while, and the quote above is such an accurate description of how I've felt during this time.

There have been days and weeks and months when I've lived my life with painstaking effort. I made sure to donate an appropriate amount of my time and money to charitable causes, place weekly calls to my grandparents, go the requisite amount of "above and beyond" (is there such a thing?) at work, eat however many ungodly servings of fruits and veggies are now suggested, and try to squeeze in as much cardio time as possible. In other words, tried my G.D. hardest to live "a life I could be proud of".

There have also been times, though notably fewer, when I have immensely delighted in the many (many, many) things there are to take pleasure in. A box of one dozen Paradise Bakery chocolate chip cookies. Three hour naps. Beers, Irish car bombs, mimosas, and vodka crans. Kissing.

I know that there's a balance. I've seen other humans strike this balance and strike it well. But these waters? Well, they're just too tricky for an all-or-nothing girl like me.